So, the dreaded day arrived and I turned 24. Of course it’s not the big 2 5 but it’s too close for my liking. A birthday ritual of mine is to sit and think about my life so far, and compare where I am to where I wanted to be. Of course this makes me terribly depressed as 10 year old me thought that I would be married with children by now - yet here I am without child or husband. Of course, I could have sat there and moaned about how sad and pathetic my life was in comparison to the carefully thought through plan that young me had made - but this year I did something different. I have learnt so much thus far, and especially this year - so I thought that I would share those lessons with you. In hope that they may help you should they happen, or at least make you may feel less alone when the birthday blues gets you down. 1. IT'S NOT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAVE MONEY |
On the back of my previous point, I just wanted to not only tell you, but reaffirm to myself. Your weight doesn’t define you. It doesn’t make you a kind person. It doesn’t get you friends or relationships. It doesn’t make you comfortable within your own skin. It doesn’t make you worthy. When you’re on your weight goal and working hard, please don’t forget to keep your mind healthy too. All of the reassurance you need, comes from within. As cheesy as it sounds. If you don’t look in the mirror in happiness now, then you won’t see the weight loss. |
4. LISTS MAKE EVERYTHING ACHIEVABLE
This is something incredibly simple, and less heavy but lists truly are incredible! Massive projects at work that seem intimidating, household tasks that seem impossible or even a personal project that you don’t know how to start. Write it down in a step by step guide, and suddenly these huge momentous things in our mind seem nothing but simple.
5. IT'S NOT GIVING UP ON YOUR DREAMS TO GET A CAREER
If your dream is something that you love, it’s incredibly difficult to let it go. Well, i’m not recommending that you do. I’m simply saying that I had to think realistically. Having a creative hobby often needs money to fund it. Without a chunk of savings behind you, you’ll need some sort of income to keep going. You might just find that you fall in love with it too. By day, I am in commercial insurance, and by night I am a writer. I have nothing but love for both of my jobs, and it’s opened my eyes to so much more.
6. THAT'S NOT TO SAY THAT YOU SHOULD GIVE UP
You should never give up on your dreams. If it makes you happy to write/paint/dance/bake or anything! Keep it going. Put time aside for yourself and your hobbies to no only keep yourself sane, but to keep your progress moving. It’s not to say that they will always stay a hobby, so let yourself flourish!
7. THINGS THAT YOU HATED AS A CHILD ARE THERAPEUTIC
Dishes. Hoovering. Organising. Gardening. Filing. Cooking. Everything that I used to hate as a child are now things that I look forward too. How did I do it? Well, I made it something almost spa like. I took Sundays as “My Day”. I would wake up early, make a huge breakfast and sit and drink my coffee in peace with the world. I would listen to my favourite music, watch my favourite movies and drift through the day. When you’re that relaxed it’s hard to find the boring mundane tasks as just that. They become something to do whilst you’re enjoying your day. Not something to put you on hold.
8. DO NOT FORGET TO CHECK ON YOUR "STRONG FRIEND"
I personally hate being called the “Strong Friend”. Although it is flattering for others to think that I am the strong one, we are often named as such because of the things that life has thrown at us that we have managed to battle and survive. Despite the battles that your “strong friend” has survived, they will have left their scars. Don’t forget to check in on them, and make sure that they are handling things as well as they can.
9. A PARTNER WILL NOT FIX YOUR PROBLEMS
I’m going to keep this one short as you all know what i’ve just said is true. Things will always seem blissful at the beginning, but no matter how much they distract you, make you laugh, or whisk you away - your problems will still be there. It’s unfair to expect your partner to help you, when you’re not in a position to do the same for them.
10. A HEART HAS MANY DOORS
This is something that my mother used to tell me when I was younger but I never truly understood what she meant until this year. When you truly let someone into your heart, and you “open the door” to them - they never truly leave. Your childhood sweetheart that you loved is still in there, they just have a separate door with their own memories inside. Once you fall in love, they’re always with you. The lessons that come with each relationship stay inside and force you to remember them when necessary. Along with the happy memories that drift through your mind at times of silent.
11. BREAK-UPS HAPPEN
This is just a fact of life that break ups happen. No matter if you could see yourself married, with little children with ginger curls frolicking in the manor garden that you look over as you sip coffee together on a Sunday morning - the worst can always happen. Not every relationship that you have is built to last - but if it truly is. Then it will be. If not? Then it is just another lesson learnt. Oh! And your life isn’t over because your relationship. The chapter in your life has ended. The book hasn’t.
12. YOU WON'T KILL EVERY PLANT
One day. Just take my word for it. One day - you won’t murder your plants. You will be responsible enough to nurture a plant. I am happy to say that I have successfully grown a tomato plant in my windowsill for the past few months, and it is flourishing quite nicely. It seems impossible, but trust me. Your day will come.
13. DON'T LET YOUR MEMORIES GET WASHED AWAY
Speaking as someone who has lost a lot of precious people in my life - memories are all we truly have of people. Whether it’s saved on video/photos or even in the written word. Don’t let any of the drift away. It’s why I keep all of my photos, no matter who they are of. Parts of your life can go missing within a blink of an eye, and a memory lost. So cherish them, and remember the happiness you have had in your life. It’s hard to think of one person, who has never given you a happy memory. And those memories are the ones that get you through the hardest times in your life.
14. DON'T TURN A BLIND EYE TO THE WORLD AROUND YOU
This year more than ever, I have opened my eyes to the destruction in the world. Whether it’s environmental issues, political or even down to what we put in our bodies. Knowledge is power. Once you have learnt about the world around you, it’s incredibly different to look at it all in the same way. Things that seemed impossible, seem almost compulsory. I recommend to start with the Netflix show Earthlings and then follow where your mind takes you.
15. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON
This is my biggest belief, and the one that I won’t let go of. No matter what life throws at you. Everything has a reason behind it. It’s the sentence that I hold onto in times of struggle. This can apply for everything. Lost your job? It has opened the doors to something more incredible and now you have the lessons to know how to fix your errors in future. Lost your relationship? They weren’t the one for you or it will prove your worth as a couple. It’s the one piece of faith that I will never lose.
Well, I hope that this has helped to put your mind at rest - whether you're panicking at your age, or just hoping for the future. Just know that it's just a number, and you're never truly ready for the big moments in life and that's the joy of them.
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