The first vibrator was invented in the 19th Century, and was powered by a generator that was so cumbersome, that it lived in a doctor’s surgery. Men and women would flock to the doctors with ailments such as indigestion, constipation or pains within the body and make use of the fascinating new invention. It was said that in the late 19th century, the vibrator was then used to treat female hysteria with “hysterical paroxysm” which was known these days as an orgasm. On March 28, 1968 the first cordless home use vibrator was patented, and went into mass production - no longer under a mysterious veil. So please dear readers, let me know why I, and so many others, still shift uncomfortably in their seats at the discussion of such things. Up until a few weeks ago, I had never considered owning such a vulgar item and often found myself giggling at the vibrator section in Ann Summers, only to leave empty handed. It was such a foolish idea to me, and something that I never spoke, or even thought about. That was until Love Honey reached out to me by email and asked if I wished to review an item of theirs. As I scrolled through this email from a friendly gentleman, I started to once again - shift uncomfortably. I am a sucker for punishment, so I looked through their website and audibly winced at the sight of all the vibrating toys in front of me. “This is not happening” I said to myself as I closed my laptop with a laugh and left to make myself a coffee. Within five minutes, coffee in hand, I had of course returned back to my laptop and started scrolling through them once more. “This is ridiculous” I thought to myself, as I found my curiosity had gotten the better of me and I emailed the gentleman back with a link to the item that I wished to review. I must say, that I felt incredibly tense forming the email, and I found myself overthinking that this random male stranger would judge me for my choice. I could have, of course chosen something tame and tiny such as a bullet, but have I mentioned that I am a sucker for punishment? Well, I decided that if I was going to do it, I was going to do it right and got this. (Excuse the link, but I have some extremely young members on this page and I hate to think of their mother’s faces if they found them staring at a photo of my vibrator). Of course the lovely gentleman from Love Honey did not judge me at all, and told me that my package would be on it’s way and be with me in a few days. Dilemma number two flashed through my mind at that moment. I personally live in a flat, that when parcels arrive that can’t fit through my letterbox - they get dropped off with the lovely gentlemen in the shop on the corner, or go back to the old ladies at the sorting office for collection. So at some point, some poor unfortunate soul was going to pass me my vibrator. My mind went wild with thoughts of the packaging saying “Vibrator inside” or “Love Honey” or any word showing my secret. Even worse, but I couldn’t stop imagining the lovely woman at the post office passing me my parcel as it aggressively vibrates in her hands. “I will never be able to show my face again” I thought as I buried my face in shame at my decision. Low and behold, 48 hours later, a card was slipped through my door that it was waiting for me at the sorting office. “Not the old ladies!”. As I queued in the Post Office in a polite British nature, my heart was racing through my chest. With each step I whispered a word in my mind. Do. Not. Show. That. It. Has. A. Vibrator. In. It. You have not known relief until the Post Office lady has handed you your parcel without it vibrating. Fear aside, and racing home with it in my hands, because only I could forget to bring a bag with me in that moment - I examined the box. Nothing. Not a sticker. Not a label. No company. No item list. Just my name and address. That’s it. To prove how perfectly packaged it was, I will just say. I had clumsily left the box on the side in my front room whilst my mother had come around for coffee, and she didn’t know anything. In fact, on the walk home, I had started to question whether it was in fact my Love Honey package, or something that I had drunkenly ordered off Ebay again. Now that I had the package in my house, it was the courage to use it. Now this isn’t a review where I tell you exactly how it rocked my world, but if you’re curious. It did. This is more in my eyes how stupid I had been this entire time when it came to vibrators. I am probably the most open person when it comes to that of a sexual nature. My best friend and I often sit and talk through things that we have done, sizes of partners, positions and even critiquing the night before - but I would never have dreamt of getting a vibrator. The thing is, I didn’t even get a basic one. I chose the bright pink one, with ears, 3 speeds, 7 patterns and a moving *gulp* shaft. Yes I said the word shaft. Grow up. I know that I am not alone in this, my best friend (Who is now getting one for Christmas off myself) is in the same boat, colleagues at work, friends, family and acquaintances are all in the same uncomfortable boat that I was once in. It’s something that you shake your head at when brought up and say things like “Oh no, I wouldn’t dream of getting one” or “I wouldn’t know what I would do with one if I did!”. Well, the jokes on us all because once you open the door it’s a whole new world. Being a newly single pringle on the scene, my “Jessica Rabbit” has been my best friend and we have been inseparable. When I finally got over the box that was staring at me from the corner of my room and plucked up the courage to learn how to use the thing I couldn’t look back. It wasn’t just the earth shattering feeling physically, but the mental feeling that I had crossed a hurdle in my anxiety. I felt more of a woman. It sounds strange, but it felt like a shift in my mental state and my “I don’t need no man” attitude was in full throttle. If you have ever considered it, have ever been curious about them or even just felt like a giggle with some wine then I urge you to take a deep breathe and head onto Love Honey. Their prices are incredibly reasonable (which is something that always put me off previously), their product range is incredibly extensive and you can get lost for hours! If you fancy a look through my personal favourite section then click here and enjoy yourself. Why isn’t this on my review page I hear you ask? Well, this is me doing my part to spread the word of battery operated orgasms and to spread some confidence and laughter in an area that I know we love to hide. Wave your vibrators high women, and unite in one open conversation with no fear.
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